Wednesday, 24 November 2010

Time for me?

Recently the Munch Bunch has been spending Wednesday afternoons at our local children's centre taking part in their 'a short break for parent's' sessions.  She was offered a 6 week course of them so they could moniter her behaviour and give us some feedback and advice as she was becoming increacingly hyper and agressive.  Thankfully her behaviour has improved!  An additional aim of the sessions was as titled supposed to be a short break for me, however after coercing lunch down the two kids, getting them ready to leave (obviously the eldest absolutly MUST undress while i get the small one's bum changed, coat on, shoes on and in the car seat) find somewhere to park, get them out the car, drop Munch off, bundle Pudding home, play with her, settle her for a nap, i am left with a scant 45mins for me.  I fantasize all morning what i could with those 45 mins (read, surf the net, nap, watch daytime tv, knit all rate highly) yet somehow when i finally reach that pinnacle moment of me time i always, always, always get caught up in doing some time of domestic drudgery.  Oh the washing machine's just finished i'll just..., hmmmm mantlepiece is looking a bit dusty i'll just..., ironing pile is getting a little high i'll just..., you get my drift.  Anyway to reach my point, today was the last of the sessions and i have yet to spend any time actually having a short break. 

I really don't know how people do it.  I don't seem to have enough hours in the day to be as hands on a mum as i want to be, keep the house looking respectable, do any of my hobbies and get enough sleep.  Is it just my crap planning? or is this a problem plauging all mums?  and no matter what i do i feel like i'm letting someone down and feel guilty.  Spend one on one with one of the girls and feel guilty about the other, spend all day with the kids feel guilty for letting the housework slide, do housework feel guilty about not spending enough time with the kids, do a combination of those and feel guilty for not spending time on me or the hubby.  It feels like life is one big vicious circle of guilt, i'm sure their must be some way to find a balance out there, i just haven't found it yet.  

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