The Gallery Week 38 - White



Last year my best friend had the wedding of her dreams, a true white wedding.  Unfortunatly i can't find the picture i really want to use of my friend and her new husband stood out in the snow.  But have one of the grounds where the wedding took place.

Winter Wonderland

We don't have any snow (possibly the only place oin the UK that doesn't) but we have the thickest frost i have ever seen.

On a down side the Munch has a bad chest infection and now has antibiotics for it.  Poor baby girls keeps coughing herself sick and has been up most of the last 2 nights with it so were all shattered.  Unfortunatly she's not a still and quiet ill girl she's a jump around and be as naughty as possible ill girl.  Today a few examples of what she has got up to between 2pm and 6pm -

- Pulled Pudding round by her arms

- Repetedly pushed Pudding over

- Scatched Pudding's face to draw blood

-Threw large hard toys at both Pudding and the dog

- Pulled all the DVD's off the shelves and out the cases

- Repetedly tipped the contents of her toybox all over the floor

- Tried to smash ornaments by dropping her cup and other object behind the firegaurd

- Stuffed tissues in Pudding's mouth

- Climbed up th bookcase

- Climbed onto the kitchen worktops

I need about 10 pairs of extendable arms and 20 pairs of eyes to look after them both at times.  Is it any wonder i am so tired all the time?  I love them so much but they drive me potty at times.  Hopefully once she is over the worst of this infection and actually sleeping again my patience will improve and we won't spend all day traipsing back and forth to the naughty step. 

Lazy Day

We have had a lazy day today, both kids slept late after being up half the night.  Munch's cold we think has turned into a chest infection and she keeps coughing herself awake and almost sick, so she cries and wakes Pudding up.  Going to try and make a dr's appontment for her tomorrow though knowing our dr's they prob won't be able to see her until the new year.

Went into town to get a few more christmas pressies, now only have 2 friends and my secret santa to buy for.  Also got a hotdog, drink and ice cream from a new place in town.  Tried not to think about where the meat from the hotdog came from but otherwise greatly enjoyed it.

Had pizza for tea and put the kids to bed.  Looks like it's going to be a bad night though as i've already been up and down to Munch about 20 times.

Respecting others opinions

My mum has been having another go at me over the fact we want to homeschool the girls.  I know a lot of people won't necissarily approve of it and thats fine that is their opinion and i respect that but at the end of the day we have to do what we think is best for our own children.

Apparently by homeschooling them we will be be ruining their lives and give them a phobia of people and socialising. (Nothing like overreacting) I have listened time and time again to her concerns and while i agree some may be justified we have a plan in place of what we want to do how we want to do it and what sort of support is available.  But she just won't listen to what we plan to do or why we feel we are doing to right thing.  I am fine with people expressing their opinions but they should in turn listen to yours.

She has now resorted to essentially blackmail to try get me to do what she thinks is right.  She is telling me she can't sleep at night for worrying and she is dragging other people into it, who's opinions are NOT the same as hers no matter how much she tries to insit they are. Why can't she understand i can't do what i firmly believe is the wrong course for us just so she can feel happier about it.  I have to support my morals and do what i think is right, living your life doing what others want you to do is no life at all really.  And how am i supposed to teach my girls to stand up for what they believe in if i don't do it myself?

Please understand i'm not knowing school in general it works and is right for many for people, for others it feels like the wrong choice.  A differant way isn't a wrong or bad way, just differant.

Feeling Pants

Had my flu jab this afternoon and now i feel like crap.  So i'm off to bed for an early night and to feel sorry for myself.

Swinging Moods

The shift is palpable and been imminent for some time, my mood has shifted from it's precariously balanced 'normal range' into a depression.  Being Bi-Polar it is inevitable that even with medication i am going to have the occasional relapse but that doesn't make the situation any easier for either me or my family.  I am really hoping this fit of depression lifts soon as i hate how it makes me feel, who it turns me into, how it makes me act.  All in all i just pretty much hate me right now, which doesn't help with lifting the funk.

My CPN (among others) informed me that i should slow down, stop trying to do so much and go out without the kids either for some alone time or with a friend/the hubby.  But at the end of the day if i don't do the housework, take the kids places, play with them, cook who else is going to to it?  If i don't support friends if they need help how can i ever expect them to support me? Nearly all my friends are mums, we don't get time out alone to chat, it is always accopanied by babies because that is what being a mum is all about!  Babysitter don't grow on tree's, it's all very well saying go out with the hubby and have some kid free time, but there is the stress of finding someone you trust to watch the kids and the worry the whole time your out if their ok, hardly makes for a romantic relaxed evening.

Fortunalty signing class this evening lifted my spirits briefly.  I got on well and was able to hold a fluid conversation, it helped my confidence.  Let's just hope i don't forget everything before the first exam on 16th December.

Tomorrow i have the joy of a flu jab to look forward too, but also coffee with my friends.  I don't feel like doing either but am foring myself to go a) for the flu jab because i really don't want to have full blown flu. b) to coffee because i know if i shut my self off it will only make myself feel worse in the long run.  I'm desperatly trying to maintain perspective and also i'm in charge of Secret Santa which is being drawn tomorrow.  Hard to sort it out iof i'm not there really. 

Christmas Party

It was the chidrens centre's christmas party today and Munch could hardly wait for the past few days she has been asking if she can see Santa yet, so actually meeting the guy was a big deal for her.  Unlike most kids who went shy at the sight of him, Munch just charged straight at him and clambered on his knee with a big smile on her face.

The girls had a good time making hat's, playign with all the toys, eating the party food (Munch ate all the party rings and sneaked Pudding a Chocolate Finger)



and finally finished up by singing Christmas songs.  All in all it was a very enjoyable afternoon and a bargain at only £1 a ticket.  I honestly don't know what i would do without my local Children's Centre it has been a lifeline and a godsend to me.  Thanks to it's services i now have a wonderful group of mummy friends who i meet up with regularly.  This has done wonders for my confidence and helps keep my mood stable, additionally they have also been on hand for any problems or concerns i have had and given me so much help and support.  If i won the lottery i would make a huge donation to them, but unfortunatly i haven't so will just have to show my appriciation my saying a huge THANK YOU!