Christmas night out

I had the much anticipated Christmas night out last night.  Thankfully the wardrobe crisis wasn't as bad as i had initially feared, but getting to the point of actually getting ready was more stressful than first imagined.  Munch came home from Playschool Christmas party with conjunctivitis and i had to get in touch with the Dr's then wait for a call back to see if they wanted to see her, which they didn't but i had to whizz up there to get a prescription for her, which meant i wasn't getting in the shower until 5pm and was supposed to be doing the first pick-up at 5:30pm.  Luckily everyone was running behind too and they were all very understanding (not that they had much choice seen as i was driving.)  I got ready and managed to find everyone's houses ok and had us all at the venue for 7pm.  Which wasn't to bad considering.

It was a really good night, the food wasn't fantastic but the master of ceremonies was brilliant.  My only complaint was that the music was too loud while we were eating as it was difficult to hold a conversation.  The downside to the night for me was that non of my friends wanted to get up and dance really.  One danced for around 15mins then about 45 mins later on and another danced for about 15 mins towards the end so i spent a good portion of the night dancing by myself.  I tried to dance near other groups so i didn't look too much like a loon, not entirely sure i succeeded though.  It snowed at midnight on the dance floor and one guy who had taken a bit of a liking to me kept throwing the snow (polystyrene balls) over my head and seemed to be seeing how many he could get down the front of my top.

I didn't get home until 1:40am and my feet are still hurting me now from all that dancing in heels!

I apologise for the bad quality my camera on my phone isn't great.  I also don't feature in any as i was doing the snapping, the others did take some so hopefully i will get some of me soon.

I also had my first BSL exam tonight which was nerve wracking.  I'm terrible in situations like that, i get myself so worked up over it.  In the end it wasn't to bad.  I did manage to spell the tutors name wrong and have to do it again, and confused her with my direction giving.  But other than that it was ok, i was mostly finding i wanted to say stuff but didn't know the signs to say it which was frustrating but never mind, hopefully we will learn them after Christmas.  Fingers crossed that i passed.

Nothing to wear

Those of you who know me at all, will know i hate clothes shopping and what i hate even more is clothes shopping with my mum.  I hate clothes shopping because not many places do the sort of clothes i actually like, i'm not one of those people who knows what co-ordinates well with what, i don't enjoy clothes enough to make the stress of searching for that perfect outfit worthwhile and i hate crouds, It gives me panic attacks to be in a crouded shop with hundreds of other people.  I particularly don't like shopping with my mum as she would like me to be girly and wear all these pretty clothes ect and that really isn't me and i always feel like i am letting her down and she would prefer it if i was someone differant.

Anyway i had to brave clothes shopping with my mum as i'm out for a christmas night out with my friends on Wednesday and didn't really have anything to wear.  Three hours later and hundreds of combinations later i came away with a big fat NOTHING.  I guess i am just going to have to try and create an outfit out of something i already have.  Which i can see now will result in lots of stress before the night out and quite possibly a few tears. (whether mine or the hubbys will remain to be seen!)  I really think i just lack some of the female genes.

But my mum and i did go out for a nice meal afterwards and had a nice chat and shared some memories.  We also managed not to argue once, the whole evening.  Which is quite possibly some sort of record for us i think.

Working mum's

Now i'm not and never have been a working mum.  If you are then all power to you, if it works for you and it's what you want or need to do then thats great.  I am never going to be able to work full time due to the Bi-polar and even if i could get a part time job there are certain situations i have aviod as i would put myself in danger of another relapse.  But even if this wern't the case i wouldn't want to work full time as i want to be with my children and we also want to homeschool, working would mean we would be unable to do this as effectivly as we want to.

Yet everyone seems intent on me getting a job, if not now then in the future.  So far this week i have had 3 people suggest carrears for me including a TA in a deaf school and Baker in a Supermarket chain.    I have even been asked why i am doing a course in BSL if i don't want a career out of it.  Why can't people get their heads around that i am unable work now, and at this point in time i don't want to have to work in the future unless we need the money.  I am doing the course for me, because it is something i am interested in and enjoy doing and enjoy sharing with my children.

There is so much pressure on women these days to look after our children perfectly, have a wonderful clean and tidy house, make plently of homecooked meals from scratch and have a wonderful career.  Why does this need to be the case?  Fair enough to work if we need the money, or if it is what you want to do, but we shouldn't feel under pressure to comply to others ideals of what we should be.  We need to slow down take a step back and decide what is important to us and do that, instead of filling our lives with needless stuff and unecissary problems.

Night Out

Last night the hubby and i got a night out sans kids.  It wasn't anything fancy, we just went to the cinema to see the new Harry Potter film (well 3 week old Harry Potter Film).  I enjoyed it but had the same complaint as i did with the others, it's not as good as the book.  In fact there has only ever been 1 film that i have felt has been as good as the book and that was Anne Rice's Interview with the Vampire.

To be honest i wasn't really looking forward to it.  It had been a very long hard day, i had a banging headache and by the time i washed all the glue, paint and glitter from our decoration and card making afternoon off my body and out of my hair.  All i really felt like doing was climbing into a comfy pair of jamas and veging out on the sofa.  But as we finaly had found a babysitter and had already bought the tickets i dragged myself out and enjoyed it once i was there and had injested several painkillers.

I have to say the loss of sponteneity is the thing i miss most since having the girls.  In the pre-kid days we could just drop everything to go out for tea or to see a movie.  When we first lived together we went to Pizza Hut and then on the the cinema about 3 times a week (not the healthiest of lifestyles).  Now it takes so much time just to get out the front door, it's like packing for an expedition.  Nappies, wipes, nappy sacks, spare vest and babygro for Pudding, clean knickers and spare pants for Munch, bibs, bibs and more bibs for Pudding reflux, suncream, calpol, dummies, drinks, snacks, bottle, bowls, spoon, food.  Thats before i even start sorting myself out.  It takes me half an hour from starting to get ready to actually everone being cliped into the car and being ready to go.  Some days i do wonder if it's worth the hassle, and if i wouldn't be better staying at home.  It's not even just getting to the car then the car journey with 'Mummy...mummy...mummy...'every 5 seconds then shouting Pudding who then cries, tell Munch off who then cries, everything settles down only for Munch to sout Pudding again at the top of her voice.  Once you get there i have to get the buggy out the boot bundle them both into it, before repeating the whole process on the way home.  Don't get me wrong i love my kids and love going out and having new experiences with them just sometime feels like a lot of hard work just getting to enjoy these things.  

A poo fright and a compliment

I have been feeling depressed for the last few weeks or so and today the general crappiness of me was compounded by the fact i apeear to be getting Munch and Pudding's cold.  It has been one of those days where everything feels like a struggle from the minute i got up.  I even crashed out for 10 mins this afternoon while Pudding had her nap, Munch was playing nicely and then said she needed a poo i meant to take her but i was just so exhusted i fell asleep.  I awoke with a fright about 10 mins later when she was looking right in my face and saying 'mummy, what's this?'  For one awful second i thought she had done a poo and was thrusting it in my face.  Fortunatly it was just a bit of fluff!

Dragged myself out for signing tonight as it's our last class and chance to practice before the exam next week.  Finally got my turn at my conversation with the teacher and although we went off at a tangent asking me something i was n't expecting and that i didn't know the sign for, i winged it and at the end of the talk she said i had been the best out of the class.

I was so chuffed with myself until my paranoid brain kicked in telling me that she was probably just saying it to bolster my confidence and make me feel better, or that she said it to everyone, or that after other people had a second go with her was i still the best?  Why am i so incapable of just accepting a complement?  Why do i have to second guess everything and put a negative spin on it when it is directed at me or something i have done?

How can you lose a child twice in one day I hear you ask?

First instance, i leave Munch watching Something Special on TV while i quickly nip upstairs to put the pudding down for her nap.  When i come back down she is nowhere to be found, i searched the entire house checking all the doors, behind and under all the furniture for a good 5 mins to no avail.  Getting frantic i also searched the garden knowing she does sometimes go out of the dog flap but i hadn't heard it swing this time.  Hunted all around the garden shouting but still couldn't find her, came back inside researched all of downstairs when i happened to look out the window and the dog is stood dutifully at the bottom of the garden staring at the hedge not moving.  I go out part the hedge and there is Munch stood squashed between the fence and the hedge grinning at me.  I didn't even know it was possible to fit down there.  But bless her she had put her snow boots on first and she came in saying "Mummy i been playing in the forest in the garden."

Second instance, Go to order the kids tea at the Hippodome this evening i get back to my seat and Munch has dissapeared again.  Do a repeat performance of running around and shouting like a loon when a dad asks if i have checked the toilets as he thought he heard someone in the ladies when he took is son in.  The toilet doors are really hevey so had never thought to check there.  I was so proud of her really, she had needed a wee so taken herself to the toilet, looked for the ladies sign on the door so she got the right one done everything she needed to and when i got there she was just washing her hands.  I was so proud of her, just wished she had told me first.

Other than having the fright of my life we had a good time this afternoon.  I took loads of pictures but the majority of them were just blurs.  Here is what i was left with

Craft supplies

After a fairly lazy morning involving an unexpected vist we set off this afternoon on the search for craft supplies.  Fortunatly we didn't have to search too far as there is a Hobbycraft 20 minutes away.  We came away with paint, glitter, card, snowflake cutouts, pom poms and googly eyes.

Were going to have a bash at the girls making their own Christmas cards for close family members, so expect some pictures in the next couple of days.  Also going to have a go at making some Christmas deccies, using the snowflake cutouts and painting them.  I'm toying with the idea of making my own cards using the wintery pictures i have taken but wondering if it's a bit late in the day to try and be so ambitions with everything else i have to do.  Maybe an idea for next year, will hopefully have a bigger supply of better quality pictures thanks to my christmas pressent

Cannon EOS 500D



 Also for next year i would really like to make like a garland of advent stockings and in each one put a part of the nativity story.  The girls both have wooden advent calendars which have sweets in (well Pudding's doesn't this year but will next year.)  Although we are not Christians i want to bring the girls up knowing what it is the we are actually celebrating at Christmas and that it's not just all about presents.

I also had to stop myself for buying some lovely wool with the intention of knitting some cosy socks with it.  I am already in the process of knitting a scarf for my MIL birthday, a knitted farmyard for the girls and a jumper for munch.  I am very much an ideas person, i can come with hundrends of good ideas but never have the time to actually implement them.